instagramin' it

I haven't really picked up my camera in the last little while and now that I have discovered Instagram, I hardly blog anymore. So just for the sake of giving this little bloggy a little life. Here are my happenings in the world of social media. 

 Boy likes crawls around with a nerf dart in his mouth. I suppose it feels good on his sore little gums. His other favorite teether is a carrot. He get's downright giddy when I start peeling it. 

 A rare date night. I really like that we really like each other.

 Sophie is a fabulous big sister, she gets a little nutty and in his face sometimes. But most of the time she is the one that can get this boy to laugh like crazy. She can do almost nothing and will belly laugh. I have to tell her to stop whatever "nothing" it is that she is doing just so the boy can breath.

 She is so pretty

 and motherly

 When Miles likes what he's eating he smacks his lips and says "Mmmmm" He will barley tolerates sitting in his highchair, after a few minutes he lunges for me and my lap.

 Sophie in all her mad glory. She decided to try in Miles' onesie and put on a show. She kills me.

 At Wingers one night. This pickle on a stick kept him occupied the entire night. I was actually able to eat my food.

 This is my sweet Sam on my birthday. I'm so glad he still likes me! I dread the day.....

 We went to see some Christmas lights. These two have been fighting like crazy. I am constantly saying "do you love each other? Then treat each other like you do!" I love these moments when the love seems completely there.

 I stopped nursing miles at about 10 months. I was torn because this babe was such an easy nurser, but I was so done with having to pump. I have also been dealing with some moments of felling quite  glum. Postpartum depression sounds so clinical and heavy. I suppose in those extra "glum" moments, it is heavy. I was hoping that if I stopped nursing, That would help. It hasn't so far. It's interesting how new life experiences and trials give you such a different perspective and a higher level of enlightenment to those who suffer.

Sam and Soph being scary

I so did not accomplish this crazy 30 day blogging challenge. But I really need to make a good blogging effort. I need to do something that feels productive but also lazy, and maybe a little creative. I'm hoping to pull out of the "glums" It helps me to write/talk about it. I have no intention of making people feel uncomfortable or sorry for me. The more people I talk to it, I realize that I am in good company. So many women have dealt with depression at some point in their life, in different ways and for different reasons. I am generally very good at seeing the sunny side of things. There is always a silver lining to a situation. In the last year it feels as though, even though I know what the silver lining is I can't feel it, I can't touch it, It can't influence me. It's odd to feel this way. I've seen a doctor and been on some medicine, which at first felt like I was failing by taking a pill. Now, it's what has really helped me. I don't constantly feel on the verge of tears anymore. I don't feel like I am back to myself quite yet. I hope she is not gone forever. I am trying to force myself to do things that used to make me feel good. (like blogging) 

Here is to baby steps and to being influenced by the silver in the lining.