Mi guy at 3 months

 Look at this Big fatty gumball boy! I just can't not squeeze him. 

He is getting close to 4 months now, and I am so not doing well at posting. As of now, he is starting to sleep soooo much better. This whole week he's been doing 6-8 hour stretches. Yay ha! He is such a good baby. He is intensley chill and only really cries when he's hungry. He good naturedly lets Sophie smooch him all over. He's a bit of a lazy boy and loves to lay his chin on your shoulder. My shoulders are always wet from either puke or spit. He loves to suck on the fabric of my shirt on my shoulders. He's also become a thumb sucker. I think that is what has helped him become a better sleeper.

 Sophie asked me why Miles has "little boobies" This is his best jabba the hut impression.

 All three sweet chillens. My sister Marcelle used to always call my nephew Jace, "sweet beast" I never really got it until I had my own little, "sweet beasts" 

it's the perfect description.

daughter

It's a good thing I only have one. There is just no way I would get another girl as beautiful and loving and charasmatic and smart and hillarious as my little Sophster. She is a such a wonderful little person. She is growing out of her terribles and has developed even more sweet to go with her sass. I cannot believe how big she is getting! I watched her in sharing time the other day and she just blends right in with the rest of the primary crew. She enjoys Sunbeams sooo much more than nursery. At the end of her first class she went to all on her own, she exclaimed to her teacher, "my Mom's gonna be so proud of me!" True dat baby girl.

Miles smiles

It took just a little longer to get miles to smile than it did my other babies. Around 6 weeks I was trying my best with just stone cold results. The first time he smiled was when Grandpa whistled at him. It was around 8 weeks. I have been trying hard to get a smile on camera and have'nt been able to quite capture it. He makes the best faces, most of which he has one eye closed. he's my little Popeye.

         If this picture does'nt melt your heart, you may just be dead inside. Miles so far is a sweet, good natured baby. He wants to be held all the time but he gives smiles so freely. He seems to smile the easiest for Sam and Steve. Sophie tries soooo hard to get smiles from him and I think that is precisley the problem. She loves him so much and loves him a little hard sometimes. Sometimes I need to pry her lips from his hands and his cheeks. She doesn't seem to notice he doesn't seem to enjoy her advances, which I am glad about. She, I think, would be broken hearted if she thought for a second Miles didn't enjoy the attention. It's kind of cute really.
I'm enjoying this little man so so much. going from 2-3 is no joke though. bedtime especially gets a little hairy. I'm luckier than most I think. My Mother-in-law has taken over Sam's homework. Steve's work has been flexible and he's been able to do a lot from home. This baby stuff has completley taken over everything though. It's amazing how something so challenging can be the best thing ever. Whith Miles being a preemie, I have been extra paranoid of his exposure to the outside world. He has not gone anywhere aside from Dr. appointments. So, consequently, I have not gone anywhere besides work and the Dr. I'm starting to feel a little caged in, and this warmer weather is making me feel like there is a light at the end of this stuffy, indoor tunnel.
I wanted to type more but starving boy and poopy diapers are calling me.

no more rapunzel

 I cut 5 inches off her hair and didnt even cry. I think we were both ready. I was sad to see the little baby curl on her ends go but at the same time that hair was the cause of many fights and tears. It was so difficult to comb out. Sophie loved her long hair but she seems to love it shorter too. The girls got confidence I guess. She still doesnt want me to do her hair and when I do she always takes it out because it bugs her. At least now there is less hair to look scraggley

Sophie and her favorite person at the moment. She thinks every move he sound he makes is the cutest thing ever and she seems to be very intriuged by his poop. She makes sure to be right there during diaper changes so she can look at his poop. ?? 

Look at that face. He is such s sweet baby.

We had to take miles into an after hours dr the other night because, out of the blue, he became all clammy and pale. It happened a few times that night. The Dr discovered a faint heart murmer. From there, we had made an appointment to see a pediatric cardiologist. The appointment was long. And although I was assured that it is probably nothing and they just wanted to err on the side of caution, I couldn't keep my thought very positive or my palms from sweating or clear the very large lump in my throat. We sat in a clam, dark room for an hour and a half or so while an echo was being done. I had to do my best to keep miles calm and asleep. of course the test didnt hurt him at all. It was so nerve racking to me. When it was over, the cardiologist came in to let us know that everything looked relativley normal. They did find two little holes in his heart that will more than likely close on their own and that is what is causing the murmer. He also said that his heart rate seems to be on the rapid side of things. I'm trying hard not to worry too much or make something out of nothing. I think of hard hard it must be to have a baby that is really truly ill. Miles is growing wonderfully. His weight today is 9 lbs 11 oz. and he is 22 inches long. A nurse has been coming to our home to check his development to make sure he is where he needs to be. She did a few tests and he is doing what he should be for his actual age, (7 1/2 weeks) not his gestational age (1 1/2 weeks) He even smiled today for the first time! He is starting to feel more and more sturdy and less and less fragile.  

Lucky boy

 I told Sophie how lucky Miles was to have a big sister like her and a big brother like Sam. She reminds me of this all the time and goes on a big list of people who aren't as lucky as Miles is. 

She talks a lot about how he is "creamy" instead of preemie. She will say, "mom was I creamy like Miles?" She wants to be right next to me to help with diaper changes and feedings and such. 

 Sam on the other hand has loved his brother more at a distance. He enjoys holding him and is nervous about holding him the right way and making sure his hands are clean enough. He told me, "Mom, the baby can barf on me if he needs to." He is sweet and kind as always.

 He is a lucky boy

 His first 'at home" bath. I wrapped him in a blanket, like they do at the hospital. He slept for a little bit. He probably thought he just was doing his business and wet himself.

sound asleep on Dad.

Miles-stones

Miles is what I have been thinking about lately. it has been quite consuming. I'm trying my best to make sure my other two kiddos are taken care of and are having their needs met. I'm so glad to have a partner in all of this. I so thankful to That Steve is such an involved dad and fills in all the gaps I can't quite seem to fill. 

As for Miles and how he is doing, He is almost up to his birth weight which is fabulous. He was been undergoing some tests to see why his heart rate keeps dipping. They have ruled out acid reflux and are just attributing it to his prematurity. To treat that, They give him a does of caffine every 12 hours. It's hard for me to keep the "why" of everything straight. He is still learning how to eat. It is a bit of a tedious process. He has a good latch and will eat for a good 30 seconds before he seems too tired or dissinterested to eat anymore. then he needs some gentle prodding. Iv'e learned that with a preemie, you can't do too much to get them eating again or they become very overwhelmed. He is getting better. I think because he is getting older everyday. They started doing "test feeds" where they weigh him in grams before he eats, then after to see how much milk he is getting from me. He is a champ most of the time. Today he got 29 grams which I am told is awesome. He needs to be doing that more consistently to be able to go home. 

Aside from his medical stats and all that is happening with that, He is such a sweet baby. Everyday he does more and more things that a typical newborn does. He is starting to to root around when I hold him. I have been told that his "hunger drive" won't kick in until he is around 37 weeks. This post has taken me a few days to complete but Miles is now 10 days old and on Thursday he will be 36 weeks. He is more awake for longer stretches and he has these handsome, big, round eyes. They are his daddy's and Sophies. He has my nose and ears and Sam's mouth. His movements almost seem as if they are in slow-motion, or under water. He likes his fingers and often sucks on 4 of of them at the same time. He makes these sweet, contented noises as he breaths in and out. He loves to be swaddled like most babies do. I have requested a "lead nurse" for him and she is so great. I'm glad I snagged her when I did. I love having someone there who is getting to know my baby and she's very detailed conscious and is just a really good nurse. Plus her last name is Miles... coincidence?? 

Here is a picture of my sweet girl. She asked Santa for an 

"easy O bake oven" this is our first baking experience. She is so excited for miles to come home and seems to be preoccupied by the fact that she is not going to be the littlest anymore.

Little Man

 I'm in love with this baby. I need to be around him and when I'm not, I just ache. When I visit him, and I get to hold him that ache starts to go away. I'm always sad to leave but I'm anxious to get home to see my other babies. I can't wait until we can all be in one place, in one house. I feel like then Sophie will stop feeling confused. She won't have to ask things like, "when am I going to get a real baby brother?" Sam will maybe stop feeling this need to protect everyone and be my therapist. He will sit with me and say things like, "mom I know your sad that you had to leave your baby at the hospital but he'll come home soon." 

Steve feels this need to be there for me and I'm not sure he has even thought of himself or his needs since my water broke. I realize there are sure many other things that could have gone wrong that didn't. I just really hope that when he comes home, He still feels like a newborn. They just change so quickly and I love the newborn stage so much and I don't want to be robbed of it. But at good moments. I'm so happy to be home from the hospital and spend some time with my family. Sam has been out of school and Steve took some time off work. We have been hibernating at home. people from the ward have brought us dinner. the kids have the novelty of new toys to play with. And pretty soon we will have Miles home with us.